Hello to OWW, DAISY, PLAZA3, TAKESHI, or whomever this may concern.
On behalf of my client, I would like to report vandalism in the Piazza Dei Miracoli pop-up exhibit A1. The art installation aptly titled "YOUR MOVE" has repeatedly been defaced by visitors in your represented gallery. The artistic intentionality of the aforementioned installation is to present a tic tac toe board in which the viewer is prompted to make their move, this prompting is a mechanical device used to bring the viewer a brief moment of enthusiasm only to be dashed to realize that they have been invited into an unwinnable situation resulting in a monumental letdown. The artist feels that this is deeply symbolic of the hopelessness that we all feel in our daily lives.
The vandals have seen to take it upon themselves to alter the COPYRIGHTED installation by making the next move as player "O". This action now changes the entire installation to make the viewer believe that they are intended to be player "X" in which they will win the game. The end result is making the viewer feel initially excited followed by the satisfaction of an easy win. NO, there are no easy wins and this completely ruins the intellectual integrity and symbolism evoked by the installation!
My client now deeply fears that his reputation will be sullied by the exposure of his vandalized installation by your thousands of daily viewers and is greatly DISTRESSED by this situation. In the world of mid to high art in which my client has worked diligently to build his reputation as a pessimistic emo with bad feels it is highly damaging to show optimism of any kind. On behalf of my client, it has been requested that security measures be taken in the form of a velvet rope to keep out vandals and uncultured individuals that may do FURTHER harm to the artist's reputation.
In hopes this matter will be addressed, I thank you.
Dear Agent X,
On behalf of OWW and the visitors with whom we host, we full-heartedly apologize to yourself and the artist with whom you represent. Here at OWW, we try to make every painstaking effort to respect each artist's personal feelings and artistic integrity. We completely understand the depth of emotion which goes into creating a deeply philosophical work of art such as "YOUR MOVE" and when we see these works not fully appreciated or in this case defiled it brings us great pain and disappointment.
We hope you will be comforted in knowing that we have gone through great lengths of installing the requested velvet ropes to protect the artist's intellectual property and furthermore have ordered a closed-circuit television camera to be installed on-site within the next 24 hours. In the meantime, an investigation has been opened up with Interpol's international Art and Cultural Crimes Division as well as an internal investigation here in the Piazza Dei Miracoli. We feel quite certain that no future visitors will ever feel a sense of triumph from "YOUR MOVE" again.
OWW, DAISY, PLAZA3, and TAKESHI.